You are headed in the wrong way!

Up to now the days hours weeks kind of swoop past.So many doctors visits I had no time to think about anything or about myself I just had to go go go go go go go ...  But now it is one month to July 29, when the surgery will take place and I have a pre-op visit on July 23 - it feels like ages away.  I tried to consider the children s summer plans and schedules we have Schlitterbanh annual passes - and I want to allow them to have fun at least in the summer, then there is the swim team with the every Saturday meets that we want to fit ( the swimming is over in July 10,and then so far every week we allowed them to visit on a sleep over with a friend, and then they want a friend over.  My spouse set up an arrangement for a weekend away on July 15 and so we will go there and then one more summer camp for the children.  it is my sincere faith and hope that this C is just slow and not getting much further.

I read something that explains  my  feelings, and I think this man has looked deep into my soul today.  this morning I felt dead tired dragged self literally out of bed and yes I was late for work.  Self-pity is knocking at my door. 

"You are headed in the wrong direction. Don't allow yourself to go there. That is a place from which is hard to climb out.  Do you remember once when you were in that pit how long you were there? You need to turn around right now. Yes, make a complete turnaround. Just like a private does when the sergeant shouts the command, "about - face." The private doesn't think about it or argue with the command or the sergeant. He immediately obeys. Beloved, do it now."